Well ever since I've been thinking about dumping Bryon I felt a sudden emotion of sadness, as I did. Bryon never did anything to hurt me and he is sweet, kind, smart and kind of funny. Even though I don't like that he likes to chew gum, it's still not a good reason to dump him. I mean that he makes me feel happy and smile a lot. Why would I dump him? So that I can be miserable, or end up as one of those cat ladies that buys so many cats when she's thirty to fill up her empty life. I don't think that I want to be her and I don't want to be miserable. I guess that these kind of feelings surface up when people are mad or it's just me. I don't want to be hasty about this decision, because truly I do love him, but for the record I'm not in love with him. I'm not one of those girls that says she loves a guy just because he's her new boyfriend.
I guess that I'm still mad that even though Joshua said he would be my friend, but now he doesn't. I guess that it is better to ignore those kinds of people who say theu're going to be something then they don't come though. I always promised myself I'll always stay truthful to myself and never lie to myself, because there is no benefit for it. I know deep in my heart that I'll only talk to Joshua to only be polite. He is dating my friend Isabel and I'm happy for her because she is one of the nicest people that I know and she is a very good person. I'm not happy, because what if Joshua breaks her heart? I'm not saying that Joshua is that kind of guy though, because I haven't known the guy for so long that I know everything about him.
I can say that for right now that I'm happy with Bryon, because he is a great guy and for sure next week this whole thing with Joshua will blow over and be not so annoying to me. I understand that not even the people you want so badly in your life can stay long enough to even say goodbye or even get to know, before they turn on you. It's just a saying not actually comparing it to the situation with Joshua or Bryon. I wish that I never met Joshua, because then life would be better for me and him, but since we did meet and are neighbors it is an endless pain that aches my neck. Not only, because I was a complete bitch and a giant nerd, he actually knows my bad side and still wanted to be my friend. Well I've made up my mind and have decided to stick to my plan and stay Bryon's girlfriend.
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