Ugh

Today I got some bad news. I'm going to Summit High School. ugh. I have nothing against Summit, but it's just that most of my friends are going to A.B Miller and I want to go with them. I just that it should be a good thing, because I can make more friends and create new opportunities for myself. I guess this is where most friendships of mine end. Maybe it's fate that has chosen this for me. I was never that kind of person who always believed in fate, but I believe that everything happens for a reason and to let things take place no matter good or bad. I'll make my own decisions and I'll make my life easier by doing the right things and hanging out with the right groups of people.
I know that I can still be friends with the people I go to school with right now and we don't have to go to the same school to be friends. I've already learned that with my bestie Aracely. We hang out whenever we're available. It's awesome and we didn't go to the same middle school, but we did go to the same elementary school and then and there we decided to still be friends no matter what and it still works out. Well today during leadership period Alyssa let us read two poems her boyfriend Irving typed for her. I couldn't stop laughing, because he spelled so many things wrong and it was just rambling, no offense, but I could write a better poem for Bryon and so I did.
Bryon my lover
I'll tell you
There'll never be another

My heart, my soul
belong to you
every time you're around
I admire your view

Every time you walk me home
I find it joyful when we're alone

All the talks we've had about our days
As I hopefully wish you'd stay

I hold you in my arms for a few seconds
but I hold you in my heart forever

Sounds romantic right? Well it was until my friend Marrisa messed with it.

Bryon my ex-lover
I'll tell you
There'll always be another

My heart, my soul
don't belong to you
every time you're around
I admire someone else's view

Every time you walk me home
I find it dreadful when we're alone

All the talks we've had about our days
As I'm hopefully wishing you'd go away

I hold you in my arms for a few seconds
,but I hold you in my nightmares forever

Pretty jacked up up right? I know! Well I don't think it's that bad, because I don't feel that way, but I wonder if him and I will last? Question mark nesscery! I think I'll write some more poetry about him, because I'm a natural and I get bored like alot!

Sad, but happy, mad you say?! jk no

Well I'm sad that Bryon will not be at school for three days for the county science fair and the renaissance fair for social studies. I'm happy, because since he's gone his friends won't come up and hit on me. They're unbareble, I swear they don't like, and yet they like me for my looks, that's weird. They're weird though so what else am I supposed to expect from them, to be normal? I wish ,but no, lol! I'm also happy, because my relationship with Bryon is starting to get to place where it's comfortable, but it's awkward for me now. He told me that he didn't kiss me, because I would think that he sucks at kissing and then laugh at him. That is something I would never do!

Dam girlz really hav 2 pay attention 2 morals!

I know that at a small age humans can't really tell what's wrong and right, but the parents need to get it through their children's heads that they need to be appropriate. There's a video going around the internet with like 6 girls dancing to single ladies by Beyonce`, and it's really sick as in bad. Those girls were barely dressed and had inappropriate dance moves only a stripper would use. Those girls are only 7 years old! Where were those little girls parents?! They should have been there to pull the plug and say hell no! I mean that no parent should exploit their children! That is just wrong! It' really not cool! Those girls will have to live the rest of their lives with that and they shouldn't have had to! That performance should have been cancelled, never the less shouldn't have ever even been discussed! What's next legalizing elementary school kids to strip in America?! Just outrageous!

Finally the choice becomes obvious

I have come to a decision that I will make to myself and hope to keep forever. I promise never to talk to Joshua ever again, because it becomes to much drama to add to my life and it doesn't seem worth it to keep trying for no response and a cold shoulder. First of all since I've agreed to be his friend I haven't seen him or talked to him anymore than when we weren't talking to each other, so what really did change? Nothing as far as I know changed and it's starting to get on my nerves that he considers us friends even though we don't even speak to each other. I don't want to have abything to do with him anymore after all he did ask out a girl that was already going out with another guy. Then she dumped the guy after Joshua asked her out. Then the guy that she dumped for Joshua wants to beat up Joshua. I don't want get involved anymore, because first I used to care about Joshua, but now it's starting to get ridiculas how far he will go for a girl. The girl is nice and pretty good person, but she isn't always so sweet, well she's hardy sweet, but she has her moments. Before I didn't have anything against her, but know I hate that she dragged Joshua into that situation. He is a really good guy and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves a girl who is as nice and good as he is, which isn't me. I'm ok with that, because he deserves to be happy.
If he's happy with me out of his life then I'll be happy to exit, and I'll miss him, but if it will make him happy then yes. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore, it saddens me that girl made that poor choice to put both guys in that situation and that she unfortunately has to live with that for the rest of her life. Also that she is that kind of person that does those kinds of things without thinking her choices through and thinking about how it'll effect others and not just herself. I'm not jealous anymore, because Joshua's happy with that girl and they're happy together. I'm happy that Bryon and I are together and I'm sure that Joshua is happy that I found someone great and not someone who is unpleasant.

A Jealous Girl

Well I'm usually a cool person, but today I was an angry jealous person. I was terrible! I was so jealous that Joshua was talking to Pallas and not me. How could I even say that?! Well Joshua hasn't spoken to me in a while, but that's still no reason for me to act that way. I hate it that no matter how many times I try to get Joshua out of my life he always comes back one way or another. I feel so bad, because if Bryon found out that I was jealous then that would give him a reason to be jealous of Joshua. It sucks that I can't make a choice whether I like Joshua more then just a friend or more. On one hand he is such a great person and we have more common interests that Bryon don't have in common. He does know how to cheer my up and he doesn't give up easily.
On the other hand Joshua has had a lot of other girl friends and he has kissed a lot of girls. Also he can drive me crazy sometimes. I don't know what to do though even if I do decide that I have feelings for Joshua. He doesn't have feelings for me, well that's what I think. He probably has a girlfriend, he probably hates me or something. I can't come up with anymore reasons of why he doesn't like me, but I'm pretty sure that he doesn't like me.

Happy ever after

i don't really care anymore, about Joshua, because that whole thing is pointless. He and Pallas are going to be all flirtaious and I don't care about things that don't involve me. So Joshua and Pallas should be perfect together and I don't want to be there when Pallas brags about Joshua. Last week she told me that she wouldn't talk to Joshua anymore, but today when I had just signed up into myspace I looked up Joshua just to say hi, and then I saw a message Pallas had left him. It said blah you're a really good dancer and you're cute. she didn't really put blah I just put it there. She thought that I didn't have a myspace and so she left a coment she thought that I won't see. I really don't care for those kinds of people, because don't say something to me and sear that you're not going to do that if you're going to. I don't want or need anymore drama, so just don't talk to me if you're going to lie right to my face.
I ust hope that Pallas and Joshua are happy together and I'm not jealous! I just hope that Joshua doesn't dump Pallas and go on to another girl with no hesistation, like what happened with Maria. I don't really appreciate that Pallas did that, because I did have a thing for Joshua and I am over it, but the anger is still there. I don't want Joshua in my life! He can be that way and I can be this way. I'm happy and love Bryon so I don't see why dumping Bryon would even be an option. I don't really like that everyone thinks that Bryon doesn't make me happpy even though we're together. It doesn't make any sense to be in a relationship and be upset over a guy Joshua even though I don't have feelings for him. I wish that I have never met Joshua in the first place then life would be so much easier.
Well Marissa's B-day was ok, but I just kept thinking about the whole thing with Joshua and Pallas. I swear to god I'm not jealous, but I don't want this to interfer with my relationship, and I'll do my best to make sure it won't, but I there will be some conflict